Kitty Cat Spray-cation

Google said my cat was peeing everywhere because his litter box may not have been as clean as he'd like it to be, so I scrubbed it, re-littered it, and kept it as clean as possible: but still the incessant spraying continued.  It all started about twenty-one days ago, on a cool night in early March.  Snow was still on the ground, and my cat was starting to get on my nerves.  Happy is his name, probably not because of his disposition, but because the entire litter was named after feelings; Naughty, Nice, and so forth...  I gradually began to treat the cat differently once my nerves were engaged, and over time began to smell awful amonia-like smells in my apartment.  I had to wash loads of laundry incessantly due to the rising frequency of what I thought were accidents.  After it appeared to be sufficiently chronic behavior, I did what any normal person would do and consulted the Internet to self-diagnose my cat's issue.  But that didn't work.  And here I was thinking Google knew EVERYTHING!

And so it continued;  under the bed, in my laundry hamper, in my shoes, on my briefcase...ugh!  So stinky!

Eventually I got frustrated with Happy (who clearly was not) and with this last amonia-filled declaration of discontent I ...wait for it... I spanked my cat.  I feel terrible about it, I got a few scratches to go along with my bruised consciousness but all things considered neither he, nor I are any the worse for wear.

Here's the rub:  I saw another video recently that stated whole other reasons why my cat could be spraying.  Basically said that when my routine changes, or when company's over, or when he isn't feeling loved in the usual way, he can become stressed.  Turns out that when an un-neutered male cat is stressed out, he begins a regimen of spraying to cope with his emotions.

So now I'm feeling like he was trying to communicate his feelings of being unloved, or less-loved that he's used to feeling with me.  Awe.  And I wasn't understanding.  I missed all the clues, but looking back - they were there.  Happy creeping up wanting his daily rub, which I haven't had time for, him wanting to chill and cuddle and me not having time for lately, totally ignoring the tuna treat I prepared for him - Happy needs love to be happy.  And he wasn't getting it from me.

I had no idea Happy depended on me for his emotional well-being.  I guess my perspective has changed in this regard a lot since The Sprayings.  I'm all he knows.  I'm what he needs to be happy.  I realize now that, in relationships - even the non-human kind - each party becomes responsible for the emotional well-being of the other.  Without trust in those basic emotional support systems in place, components of the relationship break down, and typically manifest with expressions of behavioral acts of defiance.

Everyone wants to be understood, loved, appreciated.  Even Happy.  I hear you, kitty.   So I've been giving Happy a lot of extra attention now, letting him know I still love him...and even though I'm still a little mad at him, he doesn't know it (:D).  And besides he was talking, I just wasn't listening.  And all is well in PM's home.  No spray (knock-on-wood) and everyone's Happy.

Especially me.